Holiday Seating at Your New House

We’re doing something wild this week. Yup, Farm Friday on Wednesday!

Last week, we discussed the top SEO keywords for real estate professionals in 2022 for lead generation. While much of my Farm Friday content is directly related to real estate marketing and real estate lead generation, this week, I decided to make a resource you can pass along to your buyers.

On Thursday, families around the nation will be gathering for food, football, naps, and laughs. Personally, I’m headed to a friend’s house to scarf cranberry sauce and tofurkey. Luckily, it will be just a small gathering.

If you’re like me, you think that one of the worst parts about large gatherings is figuring out where everyone will sit. If you’ve recently purchased a house and this is the first time you’re celebrating a holiday in it, you may be a little uneasy about deep frying turkey accidents or gravy stains. As such, I have put together a few sample holiday seating charts and things to watch out for in each situation. Your sister’s kids may not respect your brand-new tile, but I do. 

The Free-For-All

I think the free-for-all seating arrangement is perfect if you crave chaos in your life. Take this crude example and consider the following:

The problem with the free-for-all is that you leave the fate of the dinner table to the first people who grab their plates. In my family, the kids grab their food first. That’s how you end up with three kids sitting by the carpet instead of on the tile side of the table. Your aunt may sit at the head of the table, and then you’ll have to stand and eat your turkey over the sink. Your dad could sit at the other end, and it could weirdly look like your dad and his sister are hosting YOUR Thanksgiving. It’s better to avoid this. After all, it is your new house. You don’t need gravy on the carpet or your father yelling across the table at his sister, or you clogging up your new kitchen sink with holiday poultry. It’s not worth it.

The Place Cards

We’ve all been there. Certain people in the family don’t quite get along. You’re nervous because you don’t want cranberry sauce on your walls, and the detailed moulding on the baseboards is so hard to clean. You sit and toil over the perfect placement of each family and friend. You try to remember who may have kissed whom in their youth, who’s had the biggest blowout, and who needs to be close to the bathroom. You put down their place cards. You hope they sit where they’re supposed to, but your sister’s adult son Craig sits at the head of the table and moves your place card to the kitchen counter. Look, again, you are eating turkey over the sink. Craig spills wine on the tile AND the carpet. You wish you’d never agreed to host. It’s not worth it.

Separate Tables

I’ve saved the best for last. If it were me and I had a brand new house while hosting a large holiday dinner, I would have multiple separate tables instead of one large table. The reasons for this are threefold:

1. Avoid Generational Conflict

If you seat everyone in age groups at separate tables, you can avoid the unavoidable: generational conflict. Your niece won’t make your father mad by using the phone at the table because he won’t be able to see it! Your sister’s girlfriend can’t call out your mother for making comments on how much everyone is eating if she can’t hear her. I rest my case.

2. Control the Damage

No offense to children, but they are messy. Put the kids’ table outside, away from all of your brand new fixtures, flooring, walls, and countertops. Honestly, you’ll just have to hope it doesn’t turn into Lord of the Flies. If you haven’t started a compost pile in your backyard, now’s the time to start. Just use the kids’ crumbs and bits left on the ground! That’s what we call a twofer. 

3. No Eating Turkey at the Sink

Separate tables are the only way I can imagine that you can avoid eating turkey over the sink this Thursday in your new house. Maybe this is just me, but I would even make sure I have my own table. Besides, one plate is a joke (if not a challenge) at holiday dinners. If you have your own table, you can have your turkey and eat it, too.