Moving With Kids
By Lindy Chapman | Via LinkedIn
So your family is moving. Whether to a different city, a new state or even a foreign country–letting go of the security of all that is familiar is difficult. And dealing with the emotions and needs of kids only makes it more challenging! But if you can see it as an adventure, a chance for new beginnings, it can be an experience you will never regret!
Our family has moved almost a dozen times since my husband and I married 27 years ago. Some of these moves were certainly more challenging than others. While moving without kids falls on the ‘adventure’ end of the spectrum, moving with toddlers or teenagers–well, that’s a different kind of adventure! However, here are a few tips that will help make a new city home without becoming too overwhelmed in the process.
1. Find the RIGHT Agent
A great real estate agent far exceeds his or her sales numbers or social media posts. It is someone that lives in the neighborhood you are seeking to buy and understands your unique needs and situation. If possible, make sure the buyer-representation agreement works in your favor and limits their representation to areas only in which they are an expert.
Also, keep in mind, relocation involves much more than finding a house—it is finding ‘HOME.’ A real estate agent should provide an invaluable connection to schools, athletics, physicians, service providers–everything needed to help you and your family connect to the community and remove some of the stress and fear in the transition. It is critical that your agent’s expertise and availability meets your needs. If not, find someone that can — this is a monumental business and life decision and deserves to be treated as such.
2. Don’t Settle — Take Time to Find the RIGHT Home
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Most of our moves allowed us enough time and favorable market conditions to purchase a home before moving. However, we once made the mistake of buying when we should have rented. There was not much on the market, and anything that was for sale received multiple offers. We were relocating so completely unfamiliar with the area and educational choices for our children, but our real estate agent had other clients competing for her attention during our short 8-day trip–so we made an offer on the first house that somewhat fit our criteria in order to avoid being homeless. However, we have second-guessed our decision more than once. Renting would have cost more in the short-term; however, in the long run, would have saved us in many ways more important than money.
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In contrast, we rented a house for 9 months after another move to a new region of the country. Fortunately, as we continued our search to buy a home, we had an incredible real estate agent that understood just how overwhelming moving with kids can be and was more concerned with our long-term happiness over her commission. She never pressured us to purchase a home (though she showed us everything on the market!) and was always available. In the long-run, it prevented us from making a costly mistake as my husband was soon promoted to a new position overseas–so thankful we didn’t own a home! But even had we not moved so soon, renting provided the time needed to get our bearings and learn the market so we could make a more educated investment decision.
3. Take Time to Explore
Each kid will react differently–and some will undoubtedly be more adaptable than others. But help them to see a new move as an adventure. Take time to have fun and reconnect as a family–there will be plenty of time to unpack boxes and make new friends. There are new adventures waiting! Live like a tourist the first few months and find fun activities and places to explore together. Join Facebook parent groups and ask for favorite restaurant, entertainment and recreational suggestions for families-you’ll be amazed at how many are eager to help you love the area as much as they do!
4. For the Relocating Spouse/Partner: Take Time for Yourself
IF at all possible, don’t be in a rush to get involved or find your next job. Once the boxes are unpacked, you will realize you have been given an incredible gift of time. Don’t immediately fill it with companions, committees and commitments! Give yourself time to figure out who you want to be. Just because you were president of the PTA at your kids’ last school, doesn’t mean you have to jump right back into volunteering. If you are moving with older kids–perhaps it’s time to expand your interests. Enjoy a fresh start–a new city allows for the opportunity to create a new you! Take a class. Learn a new hobby. Take up a new sport. Do something you always wanted to do, but never got around to because of all your commitments. And it’s not a bad idea to encourage the kids to do the same. It’s a great chance for new beginnings–at least until the next move!
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